My diagnosis as of last October.
Like. I’m not even sure where to begin. I just know I need to rant and cry and Get. It. Out.
What is it? Alcoholism, Dysthymia, Anxiety is ruining my life. I can hardly function. I eat one meal a day. I try so hard to have proper self care, but even keeping on top of basic hygiene is sometimes too much. The dirty laundry piles up and is relentless.
I hardly see my kid, and when I do, all he wants to do is play video games. I haven’t even met his year 2 teacher yet. His dad undergoes haemodialisis 3 times a week.
We had to go to charity on Saturday for groceries. I don’t know how to make this blog private on my phone, but it only has like 5 followers anyway so whatevs.
I do feel like I am going one step forward 3 steps back much of the time. I really have to push myself so hard to do things that are so easy for everyone else.
My partner is working a job that is underpaying and not appreciative at all. And that makes me feel terribly guilty, even tho its not my fault at all.
I dunno. I have to get off this bed, out of these pjs and helo sort and put away the mountain of laundry. And make dinner. And work on some Burlesque Choreo.
- upset stomach and vomiting
- muscle aches
- chronic fatigue
- hormonal problems
- irregular menstrual cycles
- lowered immune system
- shortness of breath
- heart palpitations
it is a lot more than just “feeling anxious “
I will always fucking reblog this.
My dreads a few months ago. They changed fast.Calm down guys. It’s just a picture of new dreads and loose hair. It takes a while to lock up. It’s a process.
Your blatent cultural appropriation and disrespect now has your hair looking like a fucking rats nest with pencils and dust bunnies in it.
You got an ask telling you what the problem is, and you ignored it- classic caught white girl. “Its just a hairstyle I like!”
That shit is not doing it.
Reblogging this to explain why there are people of color upset about this hideous, hideous display:
I am a man of color who wears locs. My hair has been loc’d since 2005. It is clean, I maintain it monthly, moisturize it weekly and wash it as needed (this can be multiple times a month if I’m feeling athletic and trying to get my fitness on). It is loc’d to the root. I went through the early loc’ing phase when I was in college but AT NO POINT did it look dirty, unclean or unwashed.
DAILY I have people who try to connect the dots between my hair and my race and use that against me. I have people (COWORKERS) who’ve thought I was a drug dealer (I barely drink) and have people who classify me as a thug because of the way I wear the hair God gave me.
People (white) who come up to me and tell me how they”dreaded their hair for a few months but cut it out because it was so dirty, you know what I mean?” I wear my hair pulled back in a neat ponytail 97% of the time because I know all this hair makes white people nervous. Imagine if everytime someone saw you they assumed you were dirty, simply because they tried to do something you did (locs) and failed because their hair texture wasn’t correct, and instead of realizing that maybe it was just their situation, they’ve decided to apply that to everyone they meet.
And this nasty, unwashed young woman who feels the need to rebel against something (probably a shower) is sitting up proclaiming to the world that she has locs?
White privilege at work. Not only would I be unemployed if I had the audacity to traipse into my job looking like the inside of a drain, but I would immediately be classified as more of a thug than people already THINK I AM.
That’s why we’re upset. Black women can’t even wear their hair the way it grows out of their heads without it being a national scandal, yet this unwashed, unclean, clearly disturbed individual whose friends obviously have not informed her of the error of her ways will walk out in public and people will not only accept her, they will applaud her for being so different and unique.
Women like this are DIRECTLY affecting my life in that almost everyone I encounter has a friend or a cousin who is her and has given an entire LEGION of people a bad rap.
This is why cultural appropriation is harmful: when we do something and excel at it, are professional about it, look good doing it, it’s worthless. But throw it on a white body doing it the most lazy, bastardized, mediocre way ever and suddenly not only is it OK, it’s amazing! And so much better!
*PS It really does look horrible.